Chapter Two

For the record, my game plan when I was diagnosed was this:

1. Get through treatment.
2. Get on with life.

No "survivorship" crap. No pink ribbons. No place for cancer to become part of my identity, a permanent fixture, a black cloud.

I'm beyond sad to report that even before my treatment has ended my game plan needs adjustment. Anxiety has gotten the better of me these days. I live with the constant fear of recurrence, feel like I'm dying all the time, and am waiting for the other shoe to drop. Thus, the name of this blog.

OK, it's not a new fear. But I have realized lately that it (colors / infects/ informs ) my every waking moment. This cancer thing, as it turns out, can't actually be shrugged off as easily as I'd hoped.

Yes, I'm joining support groups and taking advantage of the ample breast cancer resources at the hospital where I'm being treated.